Blank Mind..

I want to cry, literally. Before I graduated from college, I planned my life especially on how  and where I want to be. But what happened to me now? I don't know where to step my feet on. I don't know what I want to do with my life now. Ever since I am not after the salary but why I decided to come here in Abu Dhabi? Why am I here? This is not what I want for my life. 

I told myself, I will land on a job and then save enough money and I will take my master's degree in Human Resources and be in a higher position on my field. Then when I reached that, I'll go find someone I'll love for the rest of my life and have a happy life I created in my mind. But what happened now? I have a blank mind now. I really don't know what to do.

Seriously, I pity myself. I feel envious of my classmates who already took their Master's Degree in Psychology while me, where am I? I'm supposed to be enjoying my life while I'm young and I'm supposed to be doing the things I want and I am happy. But I am here, working as a Sales Support, earning a good salary, able to buy things I like but am I happy? Well at some point or most of it, no.

But why not do what I want? Well in my case, it's not easy. I've been living my life like I always have to prove myself. They are not giving me any obligations but the way they treat me, well it explains everything. In anything I want to do, it seems like I need to ask for approval from people around me as if they run my life. I may sound so bitter but this is what I feel and that what makes my mind so blank. When this will end? I don't know.

My life sucks.