My thoughts, my feelings, SHINee World Concert

As a fan, there's only one wish that you want to come true. That is to see your idol in your own eyes the thing they do best, the reason why you are idolizing them. Like if you're a fan of Sharapova, you'll want to see her compete and play tennis live. If you're a fan of Kobe, you would want to watch him play basketball. If you're a fan of Yiruma, you'll want to see him play the piano in front of you.

Like me, I am a huge fan of SHINee, a Korean idol group. Of course I want, really want, to see, watch and witness their own solo concert called SHINee World Concert. I want to witness Onew's sweet voice and his very own Onew Condition. I want to see Key's girly acts and hear his manly unique voice. I want to hear Jjong's powerful voice and how he explodes his voice because of reaching super mega high notes. I want to hear Minho's clam but strong rap and see his manly body which shows his passion for sports. And of course, I want to see Taemin's perfection. I want to see his face, his hair, his eyes, and everything. I want to hear his beautiful lovely voice. I want to witness his killer dance moves and his cute little acts. I want to witness SHINee's combined talents when they perform on stage. I want to see how powerful these guys on stage. I want to see these next KPOP IDOL KINGS!

But I am scared, nervous and confuse. I'm scared for myself. I don't know how will I be able to handle my emotions if I see them with my own eyes, when I see them in front of me LIVE! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. When I watched Super Show in Manila and saw them live, I just can't put into words how happy I was that time, so what more if I see my most favorite idol group? what will happen to me? I want to see them but I want to just somehow believe that they aren't real. I just can't believe that there are these kind of people that exist. But THEY ARE SO REAL. They do exist. And for sure, in no time, I know that they will come here and finally have their concert and I really want to prepare myself for that. But I can't set my mind into that as of now. I feel numb and blank everytime I think that soon it will really happen. I don't know why. :(

But I really have to be prepared enough. I need to be all-set in everything that might happen, that might come. I should! I need! I must! 

My Anniversary.

Last August 24, 2011, I celebrated my one year being a SHAWOL. It was Super Junior's Yesung's birthday as well so it was more like a double celebration. I celebrated it with my best friend who is a Yesung bias. 

Indeed, time flies so fast. I never thought that it has been a year already since I entered the most beautiful world in KPOP, the SHINee World. It has been one year but it feels like just a day. But I am happy. I am really happy. A year passed and in every day of that year, this year and the years to follow,  I'm loving them more. 

In just a year, I was able to build a very good and awesome friendship with SHAWOLs around the world. I feel like they are my long lost sisters that I finally found after so many years. My Bal unnie, Joanna and Celina chingu, Pretty Julia, my ddal Hazel and my favorite dongsaeng Zee. :) these people are complete strangers to me. I haven't met them yet but believe it or not, I love them so much. It's hard for me to say I love you to anyone most especially to strangers but it feels so amazing because I want to tell those words to them every day. I think this is the magic that you will feel once you enter the SHINee World or maybe the other KPOP fandoms. :)

Lee Jinki, Kim Jonghyun, Kim Kibum, Choi Minho and Lee Taemin. These boys are my inspiration. I may not know EVERYTHING about them but I believe that it's not the basis of being a genuine fan. Yes, I may not know everything, but I know how to love and respect them genuinely. :)

I may not be able to give them the most expensive gifts, but I can give them something that are way way better than expensive things. 

SHINee World, my world. Happy anniversary to me! Hehe. I love you SHINee, I love you SHINee World. A year have passed, and I am sure, we'll be together for the coming more years, until  FOREVER, and maybe even until FOREVER IS THROUGH. :)

Imma EXPLODE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

     People know that I really am vocal with my feelings. They can even point me out as the best example of an extrovert individual. And so what's with me now? Honestly I deeply think about of blogging this because I know many will be able to read this and I don't know what reactions they will have when they read this. But now, I don't care at all. I badly need to let this out even just in this blog.

      There's no way for me to explode myself to where I am now.I can't even share this to my family. Right now, I feel like I'm going crazy and insane because I don't know what to do. I want to scream but there's no perfect place for me to do it. I want to talk to someone but I don't know whom to talk to about this. No one in here will understand me. The may just laugh at me or they may find me as crazy or worse, as a mentally retarded human being. I know my best friend will be able to understand me but I don't have the strength and courage to tell this to her. *sigh* I am so pathetic. :(

      I did self-examination thing and I just figured out one thing over and over again. I love KPOP. I love everything about it. I love Korea. I even consider myself as half Filipino and half Korean. I know I can't be someone to be called as Patriot but God knows that I love my country as much as I love myself. But that's not what I want to point out. I already cried for 4 nights straight because I'm really having a hard time keeping this, really. Maybe even just one person will be a big of help to me as long as he/she could understand me. 

      If my memory serves me right, I started to be a KPOP lover April of 2009. It's because of the Korean Drama, Boys Over Flower. I liked Kim Hyun Joong who played the role of Yoon Ji Hoo. He is the leader of the famous KPOP boy band SS501 which was the first ever KPOP group I loved. Then one day in MYX, the most popular music channel here in Philippines, I saw that SS501's MV of A Song Calling For You was in on the 12th spot in Myx Hit Chart. I was so happy back then. But after them there was a KPOP group that was able to get in as well and they were in the 11th spot. They are SHINee and the MV was Ring Ding Dong. Honestly, I hated them. I hated them for the reason that they dominated my favorite KPOP group. 

     In SHINee, KIM JONGHYUN caught my attention first. Maybe because of his blonde hair that time and because he's really an eye-catcher guy. But still I don't care about them back then. Yes they're quite good but still in my eyes, SS501 is the best. 

     March of 2010, I started downloading SHINee's songs and the first song I downloaded was Stand By Me which was one of the Original Sound Tracks of the drama BOF.Then after that I downloaded Ring Ding Dong and The Name I Loved. Because I am so bitter back then, while downloading their songs, I said to myself, "downloading their songs doesn't mean I like them already." Yeah, that's it.

     Then July of 2010 I got interested with this boy band. I really like Jonghyun and Key. They're good. I even liked their new released album, LUCIFER and I even listened to it over and over again. The song is indeed awesome. Slowly I noticed myself liking them and as time passes by I am loving them. :)

     I knew that they had a variety show and I wanted to watch it so I downloaded that show. I'm watching it every night before I sleep. The title of the show was "HELLO BABY" wherein they will act as APPAS (fathers) to a child. They will raise a child for 3 months Exciting right? ^^ So while watching the said show, I felt some kind of weird feeling that I never felt before. Honestly. I don't know what happened to me but they didn't just caught my eyes, they even got my heart. Yes, I love them now. The boy band I used to hate so much is now my most favorite KPOP group in the whole world. And not just favorite, more than that. I can't explain what's with me but I consider my feelings for them as special and magical. ♥

     I said that I like Jonghyun and Key, but now I can't even tell who I really like or who is my bias. I realized that I love them all in same level and I can't even rank them. They are all my bias. For me, they have their own unique talents and they are all best having those talents. They are all great and fantastic. They are really awesome in their own little pretty ways. They are the best for me.

     People knew that Lee Taemin, the maknae (youngest) of the group is my bias. Well about this, this is really something I need to release. I am so scared that no one will understand me. But I don't have any choice. If I don't do this, I'll be really crazy in no time. I love Lee Taemin. I love him not just being my idol or member of  my favorite KPOP band. I love him because I love him. He's my happiness and my inspiration. To SHINee, I consider myself as their sibling, friend, best friend and of course a FAN. I know that I AM JUST A FAN. But I don't want to consider myself as just that. I am more than that. But still I am proud to be their fan. :)

      I know I am not the only one who feel like this. Maybe they're just good in keeping their feelings but that's what I feel sorry for myself, I can't do that. T.T

Have you seen such a beautiful world? Well, that's my world. Shawol's World. SHINee WORLD. :)

August 24, 2010 I decided to enter and live in this world and so far I'm loving it. I even feel like not moving out and stay forever. Well, that's what I'm going to do. I'll stay and live in SHINee World FOREVER. :)

*MY SHINee BOYS*

That's my favorite picture of them. They look so happy. ^^

THE EVOLUTION

I call the above picture as the evolution of SHINee. From Replay days up to Hello days. More to follow. ^^ You can see how they improved. Especially my baby, Taemin. :)

MY FAVORITE FAMILY.

And now, to my FOREVER. <3

        I love you FOREVER. To a stranger like you, you made it easy for me to tell you the hardest word for me to say. I never wanted to make things hard for me but I chose to love you. I really can't help it. You are my happiness. I promise not to leave your side. I'll always be here no matter what. I won't leave your side unless you orders me. Sooner or later you'll have a girlfriend and someday you'll have a wife. But even that happens, I'll always be your number one fan. Even if you're an old man already, I'll still be your number one supporter. I'll always love you and day by day I'll love you more. :)

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