Will you just be another memory...

EDSEL 1 and EDSEL 2

Mel Edsel Tayco Sadje, one of the famous KPOP look alike in Philippines in the KPOP World. He was known as Exo's Sehun and Infinite's Sungyeol look alike. But to me, he is just Edsel.

I met him ACCIDENTALLY in Super Junior's Sexy, Free and Single and Skip Beat album launch in SM North Edsa on December 1, 2012, where all I planned was to just meet my Kfriends. Actually, I didn't know that there was an album launch and that I will see them there. I don't even know him before that so we're from strangers to being somehow close to each other.

I don't know when I started to care about him this much. At first I thought I am just infatuated with him or that I am falling for him, but no. I got attached with this person because I can see a younger brother in him. I helped him to find a company to have his internship and until he got in, I'm still here for him just in case he needs my help. I don't want my actions to be misinterpreted by him. Especially he knows that I have a crush on his brother, Kurt. I don't want him to think that I'm helping him so that I can get a chance to be close to his brother because seriously, NOT AT ALL.

I am giving my time for Edsel because I want to. I am helping him because I like it. I am here for him because I care. I don't know how will I be able to make him feel that I can be his friend, sister, or even a mother without thinking that my actions will be misunderstood. I don't know how long will we be close like this but I know it's not something special because I believe that until now, I haven't earned his trust. I just want a genuine friendship with Edsel, just that. I don't know what am I with him but I already considered him as one of my best friends. He is also my first ever KPOP guy dongsaeng that I got a chance to be close with and that makes him very special. I even feel like he's so vulnerable and fragile that is really needed to be taken care of. And I want to be one of those people who will take care of him. I don't know but I feel like I have an obligation with him. It's kind of weird but it's true.

Am I being dramatic again? Nah! It's just that, I don't want him to forget that I'm here for him always, that I'm a true friend. Especially now that I'm leaving, I don't want to be just a passer by on his memory. I want to stay in his heart as his sister and friend as what he'll be in mine.


--